My Boss is a pain and doesn't like me .

Hello Everyone,
Welcome to the Lion's den once again. It's good to be back after a couple of weeks offline. I apolozie to all who I have  disappointed by not sharing in the last couple of weeks.I hope I can make it up in the next couple of weeks. This week I am sharing on how to manage a difficult boss relationship .The number of people coming to seek for ideas to resolve a difficult boss issues keeps increasing and prompted me to share a few principles I think can be useful.

A lot of companies have done a good job selling their organisation culture and values, thus creating the idea of a perfect organization. This has led to an expectation of an ideal situation by new hires of a company where managers are leaders and coaches building a healthy work environment and helping their teams achieve great results and rise to their potential.Also experience of having good bosses over time makes us expect that everytime.  Sadly, the reality is not true for a large number of companies, with many bosses behaving contrary to the values of the organization.

 This happens for many reasons, ranging from hiring the wrong people to promoting the wrong people where there are no robust systems for progessing people in leadership roles,incompetence, insecurity of line managers to outright bias. Even in some of the best run companies, a number of bad managers have slipped through the net and gotten promoted to positions where they have been a disaster. My worst experience with a boss happened in the best company I worked for.

 I believe it all starts with starts with you and your expectations. One reality is that you can choose the company to work for and not who your boss will be.Even on the rare occassion where you had the luxury of selecting who you will work for initially, change happens and you end up with a new boss.   Recognize that your boss no matter how dumb you may think he or she is owns your team's results and not you. Operate with the mindset that your boss has something to offer and that's why he is where he is and try to look for what you can learn from him/her.Focus on delivering results and earning the respect of your boss and team mates rather than being liked. 

It's also good to be clear what your values are ,what you stand for and know how they fit with your organization's values and goals. It's therefore critical to have the culture of the organization in mind when looking for an organization to work for.Don't expect that you are going to work with the best bosses everytime. Sometimes, you may have to deal with a bad boss but  with the right company,culture misfits in leadership positions are always found out and taken out over time, though maybe not as fast as you want or expect.It always helps to have these at the back of your mind. 

You must understand your company values , always try to live by them and use them as a shield. Most senior people will back off if you confront their behaviour referring to the compnay's values. A few years ago, a new hire came to me to complain about a behaviour from a director he felt was not consistent with what we always preached. I asked if he wanted to do something about it or wanted me to invervene. I explained he had to learn how to deal with these and use the company values as a shield. He saw the director in private and challenged her using the values and he was suprised at the speed with with her tone changed and she backtracked.

You must have the courage to confront bad behavior . Leaders with bad behaviours abound  because of a lack of courage to confront the behaviour and they get away with it. I had to confront a very senior manager early in my career who was always rude to surbodinates and made the environment caustic whenever he was around.Everyone complained but nobody took action. The day it happened to me, I called him into a private room and told him he was rude and I didn't like it. I told him he had a reponsibility to help me work well and he was not helping at all by putting me under undue pressure. He was taken aback and didn't apologize directly but said he didn't intend to be rude.From the next morning, he threw tasks at me, sought my opinions on a couple of things and I was moved around many locations and got promoted ahead of my peers. A year later, he confided in me that he felt I had guts and could either break me or see if could deliver results and the various tasks were to see if I had the smarts to match my guts. Having the courage to confront the issue and the wisdom not to do it openly , but in private I think were key. Sometimes the harsh reaction you get is because you have put the leader in a corner where he has to assert his superiority if the confrontation happens in front of other people.

You also have to own your bosses/function/team result and communicate from that perspective. In one of my roles where I reported to a very senior leader, we seemed to be having clashes so many times over how things should work. I had to go into his office one day and make him understand my focus was to make him succeed and not challenging his authority. I made it clear I will always make share my point of views with and if I had disagreements with a direction taken, I will come to him directly and after that whatever decision he took I will implement.We went on build a solid professional relationship and delivered some great results. You have to learn to sell your ideas. Seek to understand all the constraint's your boss is facing and then you can sell your point of view.

Despite doing some of these things, you may still find yourself in a sticky position. To protect yourself, make sure your goals are as measureable as possible and you always summarise key agreements in writing. It becomes useful if a third party, either HR or a superior has to intervene. The facts within the right context will help defend you.

During periods like this, it's time to push yourself to be at your best. It takes a lot of digging in for you to clear your mind from any emotions and to push yourself to operate. This is where having a clear purpose helps. You simply channel your energy to bring it to life and avoid the trap of the victim mindset.

Clearly, nothing beats having a boss who is a truly inspirational leader. However Inspirational leadership is scarce today especially within Africa, so many will be faced with dealing bosses who are poor leaders. You can flip the experience and learn about how not to be a bad leader and always focus building the right behaviours. At some point you will become a leader. Are you going to mirror your "bad" boss or lead in the best possible way and give your people better than what you ever got? Be the boss you have always wanted to have.
Have a great week and kind regards,

Alex Goma aka Teranga Lion